ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize