Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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