i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
