i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She told me I should be a condom model.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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