I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
