i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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