I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
