i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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