i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Alive.
So much puke
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
