dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
