what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
