How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
