I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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