My first STD was from a foam party
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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