you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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