Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
