You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
