just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
