so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
