Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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