please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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