turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
