what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
