whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
