Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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