Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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