Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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