Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
