you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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