If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
