as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
