Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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