I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Randomize
