This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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