Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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