I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
