My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
