why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
