We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
