6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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