i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
