he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize