when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
