If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
