Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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