Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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