I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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