"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
