I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
