is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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