I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize