At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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