I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I need to align my fucking chakras
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
