At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
