What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
