Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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