yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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