Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
