I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
