yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
