glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize